1. Ear Stapling. Think about this: how many chubby people do you know with multiple piercings? (If you're having trouble envisioning, think about going to a Ren Faire.)
2. Original Hollywood Celebrity Diet. Sure, you too can lose weight if you live on 400 calories a day for two weeks. Wow, it's like magic!
3. Kimkins. Gives sketchy advice like super-low calorie levels and also laxatives (eeek!), but finding out that the diet's supposed inventor and biggest success story actually weighs over 300 pounds must have been très awkward.
4. Hydroxycut. Starbucks sells buckets of caffeine for much less money than these capsules, and with no scary ephedra accidentally making its way into your misto.
5. Celluslim. Random words thrown together to name pills that made a lot of people feel ishy. Sounds like a bunch of bullshit to us.
6. Chitosan. Weirdly, found to reduce cholesterol to some extent, but totally does not help you lose weight even a little.
7. Slim Slippers. Are you kidding us? Reflexology has no proven association with weight loss or metabolism and also, need we mention that these are slippers! For your feet!
8. Hoodia. It might be TrimSpa, but it's also bullshit, baby!
9. Diet Patch. Come on, you're on a diet, not an ocean voyage.
10. Mariah Carey's Purple Food diet. No, really. Purple food.
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